The Longevity Secret with Noelle Nelson

Disclaimer: Unedited AI Transcrpt

Larry (00:07):

You are listening to specifically for Seniors, a podcast designed for a vibrant and diverse senior community. I'm your host, Dr. Larry Barsh. Join me in a lineup of experts as we discuss a wide variety of topics that will empower, inform, entertain, and inspire as we celebrate the richness and wisdom of this incredible stage of life.

Larry (00:40):

I have a friend who just celebrated his 100th birthday. He was a bombardier during World War ii. He's in great physical and mental health. I saw him the other day on my way to the gym, and he said, I've never gone to the gym a day in my life. I replied, yeah, but think how old you would be if you had <laugh>. <Laugh>.

Larry (01:05):

Sorry.

Larry (01:05):

Good. Anyhow, this got me wondering if there was a way that more of us could live well into old age. So I called on Dr. Noel Nelson, author of The Longevity Secret, how to Live Happy, healthy, and Vibrant into your seventies, eighties, nineties, and beyond. For the answer, Noel has appeared on national and international radio, television and podcasts, including CBS's, the early show, ABC's, the View, and CNN. She had been interviewed, quoted, or written about in such diverse media as parade living to 100 Club podcast people, women's World up journey, and the stories of inspiring joy. Dr. Nelson holds advanced degrees in clinical psychology from the United States International University, and sociology degrees from the University of California, Los Angeles, and the ban in Paris. Welcome to specifically for Seniors Noel.

Noelle Nelson (02:20):

Thank you, Larry.

Larry (02:22):

Let's start with a question that you apparently asked yourself at the beginning of this journey. Why do so many 60 year olds feel old? While many 80 plus individuals feel that they have a lot of life to live,

Noelle Nelson (02:40):

Because our society unfortunately dings people once, they're 60 as being decrepit and doesn't look beyond that. We are frankly, a youth obsessed society. Not a bad thing. Youth are great. I love 'em, but we're here too.

Larry (02:56):

Absolutely. you use a word that I will describe my 100-year-old friend as amazing. Yes. He still recounts stories in great detail of World War ii. Matter of fact, he's written a play about it. But tell us about your amazings. Who are they?

Noelle Nelson (03:20):

Well, let me tell you first how it started because that's the key to the amazings. Pre pandemic, I traveled a lot for business and I was on a plane and we were about to take off, and the young man next to me was texting away, but the flight attendant had already said, power down your devices, all that good stuff. So I thought maybe he didn't hear. He had the, his earbuds in. I turned to him and said, rather nicely, I thought excuse me, but you need to put your phone in airplane mode. We're about to take off. He ignored me. I thought, eh, maybe he didn't hear. But then a few minutes later, we started to taxi down the runway and I thought, Hmm, this isn't good. So I turned to him and more loudly, not quite so politely this time, said, excuse me, you need to turn down, put in airplane mode your phone because your cells frequencies could interfere with the pilot's radio frequencies.

Larry (04:18):

And he turned to me and he said, what would you know? You are old. And after the initial shock, <laugh>, I said, if you're lucky, if you're really, really lucky, you'll get to be old like me. But that, in answer to your question, Larry, is what started my research. 'cause I'm a scientist by nature. I thought, well, wait a minute, maybe after 60, which I was just getting to, maybe we are decrepit, ignorant, useless, blah, blah, blah. But I found that's absolutely not true. And there are people in their seventies, eighties, nineties, hundreds who are thriving, dynamic, doing incredible things like your friend who's written his play, doing marvelous things. And you know what? They're all over the place. You just need to know where to look.

Larry (05:05):

Where do we look to see some of them

Noelle Nelson (05:08):

Real simple walk around your neighborhood <laugh>

Larry (05:11):

And your Facebook page?

Noelle Nelson (05:14):

Yes, and my Facebook page. I'm very proud of that, frankly. 'cause Out of the research and out of the book came, so I thought, what am I gonna do with all these, what I called amazings? I thought well, a Facebook page, which to date has almost 700 amazings that have been featured. And now I feature them at the rate of one a week, a new one who has to be doing something incredible, wonderful, thriving, inspiring, and all that good stuff. And I find them everywhere. They're all over the web. You just have to kind of look people who know what my interest is, send me, you know, oh, what about him and what about her? And like that. And it just, they just come to me.

Larry (05:56):

Let, let's, let's talk about your book a little bit. You've sort of answered what interested you in this subject and, and how you got started with it. But is there a common thread? Is it eating healthy? No alcohol exercise? What's the secret? What do we need to do to become vibrant in our older years?

Noelle Nelson (06:26):

Which is the perfect question, Larry. And yes, of course it helps to eat healthy and exercise and all that good stuff, but frankly, the common denominator that runs through all these amazings is they have passion, purpose, and positivity. Because many of them are missing a leg and arm. They have a metal hip, they have metal knees, some of them have Alzheimer's. It doesn't seem to matter if they have a passion for absolutely anything. Larry, from growing tomatoes to world peace, to being astrologers, it doesn't matter if they have a purpose growing tomatoes, because you know what? It's fun to grow tomatoes and you can present them to the county fair, right? Or whatever. And positivity, the belief that, you know what? I can do this. Yeah, yeah, I can do really, I can, I can do this. That's all it takes. Passion, purpose, and positivity.

Larry (07:20):

That simple or that difficult

Noelle Nelson (07:24):

Depends on your point of view.

Larry (07:26):

<Laugh>. how, how do we, how do we focus on the good things in a world like we're facing now with so much bad news?

Noelle Nelson (07:45):

It's not always easy. But the thing is, there are websites devoted to the good news, places called inspire, more good news, et cetera. And then there's just your own life. When we look at our own lives, it's amazing how much there is to appreciate, no matter what condition you're in, by the way. 'cause People tend to think that, you know, happy seniors in their nineties must be in perfect physical shape. No, they're not. But what they appreciate, and that's the key word, they appreciate what they do, have the scent of coffee in the morning, the pet that they can cuddle up to the feeling in their own bodies. I can walk. I can still walk, okay, I'm slow. I can walk. So it's always looking to what can I not, what can't. I, and also in one's own world, I'm astounded at the goodness of people constantly, constantly, people are doing wonderful good things. Again, you just had to kind, have to kinda look for it. And you can stand out on your front stoop, on your, you know, in your neighborhood and look around and you'll see some neighbors helping some other neighbor. Some kid is actually being nice to somebody. Something good is happening. You have to be more willing to look for that than all the bad news.

Larry (09:06):

So appreciation is one of the biggest factors in living a long, happy, healthy life.

Speaker 4 (09:13):

Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>,

Larry (09:15):

Yes. What can we, what, what can we do more to help us appreciate what we have?

Noelle Nelson (09:21):

You know, the simplest one, and this has been around for eons, I certainly didn't invent it, is to keep a gratitude journal, which means at the end of the day, before you go to sleep, you can either do it mentally or write it down or speak it into your phone. Doesn't matter. Just find five things for which you're grateful. And I don't care if it starts with the sun rose. It did, it would make a heck of a difference to us all if it didn't, right? <Laugh> just five things. And you'd be surprised at how that becomes exponential. How it just multiplies. Gratitude is, is the easiest thing in the world once you start to activate it.

Larry (10:00):

I find what a lot of people my age do is they compare themselves to others and well, I'm not happy about it.

Noelle Nelson (10:12):

Of course not. That's a, that's a sure road to, to unhappiness. Their

Larry (10:16):

Grandchildren come and visit more often than mine, that sort of thing.

Noelle Nelson (10:22):

So, so go volunteer at at, at, I don't know what a pet shelter or something, and go find some joy. In other words, comparing oneself. I don't care what age you are, by the way, I don't care whether you're two 20 or 102. If you start comparing yourself, you will inevitably find that someone else is doing something or being something better than you. What purpose does that serve? None. Zip to take my personal example. At 70, I became a ballroom dancer at 76. I am a competitive ballroom dancer. Now, am I the best one on the floor? No. Do I care? No. I'm having a great time. And that's really all that matters.

Larry (11:09):

And staying optimistic at this stage of life,

Noelle Nelson (11:14):

What's not to be optimistic about? We're here. The grass is still green. The sun is still shining. You can still make friends. There are still places to go. We're here.

Larry (11:28):

What about those people who seem to be always angry about something?

Noelle Nelson (11:34):

I feel bad for them. I'm sorry that they don't see the splendor of this world.

Larry (11:43):

When we when I contacted you originally, I had read an article by you in the Huffington Post, and the last paragraph really stood out to me. I asked you to read it on the podcast. Do you have a copy? And then maybe we can, we can talk about it a little bit.

Noelle Nelson (12:07):

I'll be happy to. That article meant a lot to me. I was very honored that the Huffington Post published it. For those of you who are younger, get to know us. And if you are an amazing celebrate Yourself. We the many 60 plusers. So now it's 60, 70, 80, 90 hundreds who have come through the challenges of life. Alert, happy, healthy for the most part, strong, surprisingly so, and are eager for what each new day brings. We who have learned to appreciate the smile of a friend, the taste of a morning coffee, the glow of the rising sun, we who don't take any of it for granted. Those of us for whom life has become more precious with every passing day, precisely because we know we all have an expiration date. Well, we plunge into life with whatever is still available to us. Be that of body, mind, or spirit despite whatever condition our various parts are in, we who refuse to roll over and play dead before we are dead.

Larry (13:18):

That sort of sums up your philosophy

Noelle Nelson (13:21):

Totally.

Larry (13:23):

It's, it's a beautiful paragraph.

Noelle Nelson (13:29):

Thank you.

Larry (13:31):

At your websitenoel nelson.com, you ask that people who consider themselves amazing contact you to be featured.

Noelle Nelson (13:43):

Sure.

Larry (13:43):

Are there qualifications in that,

Noelle Nelson (13:48):

To be doing something in their preferably seventies, eighties, nineties, hundreds that is currently exciting, dynamic, interesting, thriving, something like that. Past history is, is okay, but for example, your friend, the World War II mama, dear, what's really interesting to me about him is the play he wrote now, because that, that is his nowness, if you will. I respect and venerate his service to our country. But what would make would make him an amazing is his play.

Larry (14:26):

What makes it even more amazing. He is soliciting residents of a senior living facility to participate in production of that play.

Noelle Nelson (14:38):

And that's fabulous. That's, that is a true amazing. Yes, he exemplifies it. It's a wonderful thing.

Larry (14:45):

What else? What else did we miss?

Noelle Nelson (14:49):

What else did

Larry (14:50):

We miss? It, it sounds so, so not obvious, but simple to, to come into old age with such a positive, grateful attitude. And yet it's so hard to do

Noelle Nelson (15:12):

Yes and no. In other words, the what you said about anger, Larry, what underlies anger is fear. We're scared, and therefore we lash out. So really, it's to soothe one's own fear of whatever of the weakness that one is afraid of. As one gets older of the illnesses of the possible other physical complications of the mental decline, all of which in my research I have found either don't stop people or are far less than you think. I remember at the time of reading the book, there were only 3% of Americans over 65 who ended up in nursing homes. That's a very small percent. And yet, 97% of us are scared of it, <laugh>. So it's called take a reality check. You don't have to listen to all the bad news. You don't have to only look at people who unfortunately just didn't make it into older age.

Noelle Nelson (16:10):

With joy, you can start doing what my choice was, which is look at the ones who are, and, and see what do they do. I mean, that was what drove me. How do they do it? And find a passion for yourself. Believe me, that takes care of a lot of things. And it doesn't matter what it is. Generally, most people find a passion that involves other people because social connection is important. And honestly, the easiest path is to volunteer. If you don't know what you wanna do, if you don't have a passion sort of already built in, go volunteer. Pet shelters are great. Other kinds of, of of institutions who require need volunteers are great because you start interacting with other people who are generally hopeful about things or they wouldn't be volunteering. So there's, there's roads into this <laugh>. You know,

Larry (17:06):

One, one other thing, at the end of your book, you show a bumper sticker <laugh>. And if you heard little sounds in the background, my dog was looking out the window. The bumper sticker said, wag more, bark less.

Noelle Nelson (17:26):

It's a great philosophy to live by and it's a great way to get older. Happy <laugh>.

Larry (17:30):

Tell, tell me, tell me more about it.

Noelle Nelson (17:33):

I will be happy to, first of all, I was so surprised when I saw that <laugh>, I was parking my car and in front of me, big and bold on the back of another car was wag more, bark less. I thought, okay, I got it. I got it. <Laugh>. And it simply comes down to what we've been saying throughout, which is, look for the joy. Look for the happiness. Look for the appreciation. You ever watch dogs? They're great examples. They just wag their tails at any old happiness, right? And bark less as in quit moaning. Quit complaining because you're just going to make that more. So, yes, something physical, I don't know. Your knee got banged up and you have to have a knee replacement. Okay, I got it. It's not fun. Nobody enjoys it. But if you would rather wag more than be happy that you found a physician who's willing to fix it, that there is PT to help you get walking afterwards and complain less. Yes, it hurts. We know it all it, it hurts everybody. Okay? But you don't have to go over that litany constantly. You can say it once. This hurts. Got it. Move on. So wag more, bark less. Just watch dogs or watch infants, toddlers. They know this.

Larry (18:48):

Well, my dog tends to bark more <laugh>. I'm sorry, <laugh>.

Noelle Nelson (18:54):

You gotta get yourself a golden retriever. <Laugh>.

Larry (18:57):

I have a miniature poodle and ah,

Noelle Nelson (19:00):

Poodles. But they're very smart.

Larry (19:02):

Too smart for their own good. Noelle, this is wonderful

Noelle Nelson (19:07):

<Laugh>.

Larry (19:08):

Is there anything else that we missed that you'd like to comment on?

Noelle Nelson (19:14):

No, other than, I don't care what age you are. Notice as much as you can, how wonderful life really is your own life in your own sphere with your own friends and such. And if it isn't as wonderful as you would like, then get out there and do something about it. 'cause There's an awful lot of good people on this planet and they are willing to help. If you're in some kind of distress,

Larry (19:37):

Mention your books name and where people can find it.

Noelle Nelson (19:41):

The one we're speaking specifically to is called the Longevity Secret. It's available on Amazon. And I have 14 other books, <laugh>, all of which are on my website, Noel nelson.com.

Larry (19:54):

Are they all about happiness or are they very one way

Noelle Nelson (19:59):

Or another? Well, different subjects, but in one way or another, appreciation is always the key. I've written about appreciation in business, appreciation in my, my bread and butter, which is as a trial consultant to attorneys appreciation in your regular life. Just, you know, but not necessarily always under the heading appreciation, but yeah. Mm-Hmm, <affirmative>.

Larry (20:21):

Noelle, again, thank you so much for being on specifically for seniors.

Noelle Nelson (20:27):

It's my pleasure, Larry. Thank you.

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