Free Advice with George Vail

Disclaimer: Unedited AI Transcript

Announcer (00:06):

You are connected and you are listening to specifically for seniors, the podcast for those in the Remember When Generation, today's podcast is available everywhere you listen to podcasts and with video at specifically for seniors YouTube channel. Now, here's your host, Dr. Larry Barsh.

Larry (00:37):

As a retired dentist, I will admit I never had the desire to put on a beanie, sit under an umbrella in Harvard Square under a sign that read free advice offered or accepted. But I was intrigued when I read an article in the Boston Globe about a former dental lease negotiator who did just that. So I called George Vail, my guest on specifically for seniors today, and asked them to be on the podcast. So I can ask them all about that. Welcome to specifically for Seniors Joy.

George (01:17):

Oh, thank you, Larry. I'm very pleased to be here with you.

Larry (01:21):

It's nice to have you on. So tell me, how did this all come about?

George (01:25):

Well I've been negotiating office leases for dentist for about 33 years 47 in the commercial real estate industry. Frankly, I'm tired of it. I don't enjoy it anymore. I decided I wanted to try and wind it down instead of 45 clients. I now have two, and it's a great level. I work about an hour a week, and the rest of the time I needed to find something to do to kill some time and a reason to get out of bed in the morning. And I'd seen a TV news blurb about four old guys in Park City, Utah who got tired of telling lies to each other over coffee in the morning and decided to take a booth at a local farmer's market. And they put up a sign saying, old Coutts, giving free advice. And I thought, yeah, I can do that. So that was fi that was five years ago. And four years ago I got it all together and put my rig together and started down in Florida. And then I've expanded up here to Cambridge, Massachusetts.

Larry (02:19):

Why, why Harvard Square?

George (02:21):

Well, I live in 20 minutes away in Winchester, Massachusetts during the summer. Linda and I are snowbirds for 11 years now, eight months in Florida and four months up north in the summer. And Harvard Square is 20 minutes away by Subway and they're throngs of people. Every nationality, every stripe you can imagine, it's an international community. In four hours there, I'll hear 10 different languages. It's just the most fascinating place to talk to people.

Larry (02:48):

You said Subway. Do you wear the beanie, the glasses and the t-shirt on the subway as well?

George (02:54):

I absolutely do. This is my brand. I want to promote it, and so I drive 12 minutes to the station. I climb on the subway, ride three stops, and pull out my chair, and I'm there at about 20 minutes. So yeah, I wear the rig nonstop.

Larry (03:08):

How many people on the subway have asked you for advice?

George (03:12):

None. <laugh>. Every once in a while somebody will say, oh, hi, you're the freer guys guy. Yeah, that's all.

Larry (03:22):

Let me show a video, brief video of you giving advice and then we'll talk about it.

George (03:30):

Okay?

Speaker 4 (03:32):

I would love that. Thank you very much. That's great. Can you give some advice? Sure. Who is this lady? This is my wonderful wife, Monica. Don't ever let her go. No, I won't. There you go. That's, you need her best advice. You need her more than she needs you, believe it or not. There's no doubt about it. And, and learn. You've probably already learned this, but you gotta really own it. Okay. Repeat that for me. Yes, dear. No, dear. I'm sorry, dear. I was wrong. Yes, dear. No, dear. I'm sorry, dear. I was wrong. <Laugh>. I like that advice. Thank you, George. You're welcome. <Laugh>,

Larry (04:07):

I like the wife's response.

George (04:10):

<Laugh>, they usually do, like most of my when I'm talking to a couple like that, usually I zero in on things that the wife will like,

Larry (04:20):

<Laugh> <laugh>. Do you often have the advi a second person coming in and commenting on your advice

George (04:28):

Every once in a while? Sure. it's not uncommon for crowds to together, literally people that stand in a circle and listen to the conversation. And every once in a while I will reach out to the crowd and say, well, what do you think about that? And try and get them all engaged.

Larry (04:42):

I'm gonna show a picture of you. Hang on just a sec, of you and Harvard Square sitting under your famous umbrella sign with your chair and wearing your bean and glasses that you're wearing today. Tell us about that.

George (05:02):

Well, you know, I decided to, I come from a family of costumes that is, we love to put on a costume for any reason at all. And in the seventies, I had a bunch of friends. We would costume 10 or 12 times a year for no reason. If a friend were coming into the airport from outta of town, we'd get in a costume, go down and greet them at the VA carousel, just to be goofy. And my dad was a goofy guy and it got a lot of attention. And so I figured if I'm gonna do this, I want to get some attention. And I decided I needed to have something that was visual visually attractive. That's why the yellow sneakers and the propeller beanie and the Harry Potter glasses.

Larry (05:37):

So you consider yourself visually attractive <laugh>? Oh,

George (05:42):

Absolutely. Don't we all <laugh>

Speaker 5 (05:44):

<Laugh>.

Larry (05:48):

Oh, that's funny. How do you get your conversation started? Do you, do they come over to you or do you just wave and say hello?

George (05:58):

Well, it's some of both. Actually, I see people for instance, if I'm in Harvard Square, I'm facing a major crosswalk where literally 50 or 60 people will line up across the street facing me ready to cross at the light, and I'll wave to them. And if they wave to me, invariably they will stop when they're coming past me. But generally, people come by and I'll wave and try and get their attention. Some people come right up, they're very bold, and they might say, okay, gimme some free advice. Or they might say, how does this work? Or I will lure them into conversation simply by saying, who's that with you? Or How old is your dog? Or just throw something out there to get the conversation started. That gives me a thread to pull on.

Larry (06:36):

And, and the advice you are asked for, is it specific? Do they say, just gimme some free advice? Is it just for fun or do you get into serious conversations too? 

George (06:50):

All, all of the above. It is not uncommon for someone to say, well, how does this work? Should I ask you a question? It's also common, excuse me, for someone to come up and say, I have a situation. Can I talk to you about it? And the answer is, sure. 80% of the conversations are silly. They're light, they're funny. That's what I want them to be. 20% are very serious, and they range from work challenges, school challenges, relationship challenges particularly in Harvard Square talking to students. It's about the pressures of school. Should I change my major? How do I get my my roommate to stop bringing his girlfriend in overnight? All kinds of things that have to do with relationships. That's a major part of it.

Larry (07:30):

Is there anything you won't talk about?

George (07:33):

I won't talk about politics or religion. I have a, on my sign, it states that very clearly simply because although I love talking about those things when I'm in the chair, this is about inclusion. I, I want people to feel welcome. I want them to smile. I want to have a good time. Too often talking about politics or religion becomes contentious and I don't want contention when I'm sitting in my chair.

Larry (07:59):

What is one of the most serious conversations you've had?

George (08:03):

Well, it's I will tell you, once a month or so, someone will have something so traumatic that they cry when they'll sit down on the ground next to me and cry. It might be should I get a divorce? That's a, that's a question I get a lot. It might be my boyfriend broke up with me. What do I do? How do I handle that? Those are the more, the serious ones like that have to do with relationship issues. The funniest question I got, which I've actually coined, is the name of my book. The question I got was, what should I do about Cheese? I, I thought, wow, I love that question. So the answer that I gave was, you should pair it with a cheeky or low

Larry (08:48):

<Laugh> your book.

George (08:52):

Yes. The name of my book.

Larry (08:53):

Yeah. Write, have you written it completely or are you in process or,

George (08:57):

I I've been working on, this is actually the third book I've worked on. I've done a lot of writing. I've published a lot of stuff in newspaper columns and a bunch of business things like that. But I started on this particular book about two years ago because I knew there was gonna be something there, and I was excited about it, and I'm still excited about the whole concept. But my writing ebbs and flows. Sometimes I'm excited and I'll write for a week or two every day I might write a little bit, and sometimes it goes for months without my touching it. And I haven't actually touched it in a couple of months, but I do have six chapters, a prologue and six chapters done. And I look forward to hopefully this fall when I get back down to Florida, putting some more time back into it.

Larry (09:36):

So you're gonna be in Harvard Square the rest of this summer?

George (09:40):

Yes, sir.

Larry (09:41):

Until about when?

George (09:43):

Well, until about the 1st of October, that's when we typically head down to Florida. And I'll do this same thing down in our little community on Amelia Island. Fina Beach is a tourist area for sure, and we get lots of crowds down the, the main street during the day and in the evening. And I'll go out there several times a week and just hang out there and play around with the folks walking by.

Larry (10:04):

Yeah. Let's promo you Florida presentations as well. Again, where is it gonna be?

George (10:11):

This is Fernandina Beach, Florida, which is on Amelia Island. It's due east of the city of Jacksonville. If you look north off the island, you see Cumberland Island, Georgia. That's how far north it is.

Larry (10:22):

And you're gonna be doing the same thing.

George (10:25):

I'll be doing the same thing on Center Street, which is where all the, the tourists hang out. And I started there at the Farmer's Market, actually four years ago. But I've now moved down the street to a little park where it's the traffic moves in a little different fashion. And so that's where I hang out several days a week down there during the fall and winter and spring.

Larry (10:45):

So this is a year-round venture for you? Oh,

George (10:48):

Absolutely. I, I can't get enough of this. I'll, I'll do it until my wife tells me she's tired of it.

Larry (10:53):

<Laugh>? Yes, dear. Yes, dear. Yes, dear. No, dear. I'm sorry. Let let me, let me show a picture of some Harvard students that you talked to. Here's a bunch of kids. Yeah. Go over again. What they want to know about.

George (11:16):

Well, the most common topics have to do with school and school pressures or romantic relationships. Invariably, that's 90% of what the kids want to talk about. Every once in a while, they might have a question about, well my parents don't accept my sexuality, and how do I tell them that I'm gay? Or I, I get a lot of serious stuff. And those are heavy duty conversations that they commonly have difficulty discussing with family and friends. And to talk with someone who's anonymous and unbiased it seems to be very cathartic for them.

Larry (11:51):

I I, I'm just curious, how do you answer that question, those questions from total strangers?

George (11:59):

Well, when I get a serious question, Larry, I'm a salesman. So a smart salesman knows how to probe to learn what the objections are, to learn what the interest is on the part of the client. And so if I get a serious question, I literally will ask 15 or 20 questions to try and get the lay of the land before I even start to think about trying to formulate an answer. And I've done this so many times that I know where I wanna start, and, and I know when I've got enough information that I can say, look, here's an opinion. It's not necessarily the right one. It is my opinion. I encourage you to talk to other people about this too. This is very serious. Don't just take my word for it, but here's my take on it. And I invariably will never give, I will never try and give medical advice or psychological advice, but I will encourage people to get professional help, if that seems appropriate.

Larry (12:47):

And there's another picture at your website, by the way. Why don't you mention your website so people can go there and read the six chapters.

George (12:58):

Thank you very much. The website is Free Advice by george.com. Free advice by George, all one word, free advice by george.com. There are a lot of photos on there. There are a lot of comments. Those are the two main sections. You can see what people have written about our engagement together on the square. And I'm not sure that my book is on there quite yet. There may be a couple of chapters. It'll be there someday.

Larry (13:21):

Okay. In all the pictures that I looked at, there were a couple that stood out. Let me put it up on screen and we'll talk <laugh>. There you are with Al Roker. Yes. How did that come about?

George (13:39):

Well two years ago, I originally two years ago when Harvard Square was interviewed by Harvard Public Radio, the public radio station that I used to listen to 50 years ago, excuse me. I was contacted by a reporter for that station, and she interviewed me in the studio one day. And that was the first bit of publicity there. The second was the Harvard Crimson Newspaper interviewed me, and then another local paper interviewed me. And then last September, I got a call from Preston Buell, who is the feature writer for the Boston Globe. And he said he wanted to interview him, and I told him that I wouldn't be around. I'm going to Florida, I'll be back in the spring. I came back in the spring, he reached out to me, and he and I did an interview that ended up on the front page of the Boston Globe, which was extraordinary, you know, next to the major news events of the world.

George (14:28):

To be on the front page of the Boston Globe was pretty astounding. And that triggered the response by Al Roker. And I asked Al while we were visiting together a couple of weeks ago, I said, Al, how is it that you decided that you were interested in doing a story on me? He said, I subscribed to the Boston Globe, and I saw the story, and I instantly gave it to my, my team and said, make this happen. So that's how we got to Al Roker. Al Al Roker came in on the 22nd of June, and his crew filmed for nine hours in Harvard Square trying to get the, the B-roll and the backstory. And Al came in and we spent a couple of hours together. I said, bring your, bring a red chair. I told this producer, bring a red chair and put it next to me. And they did. And Al and I sat together for two hours sometimes talking to people, and there was nobody there. We just kind of chatted. And he's a very down to earth guy, not at least full of himself. We had a wonderful time together.

Larry (15:23):

So tell us, what advice did you give Al Roka

George (15:28):

<Laugh>? Actually, I didn't give Al Roker any advice, <laugh>. But when, when we sat there and people would approach to ask my advice, they'd look at me. And many times during our conversations with other people, I said, gee, I'll bet Mr. Roker has a good answer to that. And so I turned it over to him and he gave people some advice, and I might chip in and say, oh, that was much better advice than mine. But <laugh>, so he and I, we had a good time with it.

Larry (15:53):

Did he give you advice?

George (15:55):

He did. Not <laugh>, but I'll tell you a quick funny story. When I was setting this up with the producers, I said, you know I've been doing this for, this is my third summer in Harvard Square, so I'm really used to remembering now that Al Roker is a meteorologist. I said to the producer, I've been doing this for a couple of years now, and I'm used to really watching the weather very very carefully to decide when it's a good time to go down. And so, you know, Al might want to have some advice from me about when to fly up here based on the weather. And then I, it occurred to me that he's the meteorologist. And here I was telling them about the weather <laugh>. So I told, when Al was sitting with me in the chair, I told him that story. He almost fell off the chair laughing.

Larry (16:33):

<Laugh>, what else do you want to talk about we haven't covered?

George (16:40):

You know, I think, Larry, if there's anything people ask me what I've gotten out of this. I've learned an awful lot about myself. I learned about Ev life and everything. And everybody, when I'm there during the day, I learn so many different things. But mostly I've learned about myself. And the evidence is that the answers, if I were to guess how many questions fall into a common category, there are probably 20 of them. And I already have canned answers because most of the circumstances very, very similar. When I say canned answers, so many of the conversations I have with young people, for instance, revolve around self-esteem issues. And they're challenged by, by school, I'm not worthy. Or they're challenged by, you know, I'm allowing my boyfriend to abuse me. And so my mantra typically comes back, love yourself, believe in yourself, protect yourself, be kind, give to others. Those are all things that come out of my mouth. I had no idea they were there before I started doing this. And I'm delighted with that. And people invariably rave about the advice that I give every once in a while. Every once in a while, every about every other day, somebody comes up to me and compliments me on the advice I'd given 'em a year ago. They, they're thrilled with it. But generally I've learned a lot about myself. And that's very humbling.

Larry (18:00):

You mentioned the advice that you usually give people. I've got one more photograph.

George (18:10):

Yep. That's from my website. And that's, again, that's just, I never sat, I never planned to, to make that my mantra. I never thought seriously about the kind of conversations I might have when I started doing this. I thought this was just gonna be fun and games. I knew there'd be some occasional serious conversation. But in doing this, those are the sentiments that have come to my mind when I'm talking to people. And that's deep within my heart. That's what I believe. And it comes across in all of my communication with people there.

Larry (18:41):

And since this is a podcast as well as video, why don't you just go over these topics for I can't, listeners.

George (18:53):

Absolutely. So I don't have it. I can't see it on the screen cause I don't have the good glasses on. I have my Harry Potter glasses on. But basically it's about love yourself, be kind, protect yourself share your smile with the world and believe in yourself. That's the essence of what you're, what's there on the screen.

Larry (19:15):

Well, for the listeners, I'm gonna read the list. Exactly. Good.

George (19:19):

Thank you.

Larry (19:20):

Love yourself, respect yourself, protect yourself. Always be kind. Give to others, share your smile. And you've certainly done that with us today. And I really wanna thank you for coming on specifically for seniors. George, it's been a joy. My pleasure.

George (19:43):

My pleasure. Larry, thank you so much for inviting me and to, to share my story with everyone. I'm delighted to be here with you. You're doing a great thing for our seniors, and I'm glad I could participate.

Larry (19:54):

George, thank you once again for being on specifically for seniors.

George (20:01):

My pleasure.

Announcer (20:07):

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